Inspired by Dr. Boli, here's a fake ad:
Christmas Card Blocking Now Available
Ever gotten a Christmas card on Dec. 24, and then panicked when you suddenly realized that it was from a mere acquaintance or even an enemy that you did not put on your own Christmas card list? Even if you reciprocate, the card will arrive so late that the other person will know you never intended to send them a card in the first place.
The Postal Service's new Christmas Card Blocker Service ensures that you'll never suffer that feeling again. Just provide the Postal Service with your own Christmas card list by Dec. 1, and then if anyone not on your list tries to send you a Christmas card, it will be blocked and returned to the sender stamped "Addressee Unknown."
This handy service is available for a one-time fee of only $19.95.